If life gives you lemons, make lemonade…..
Hey Everyone! I am so excited to start a new series, Diary of a Divorced CocoaMommy™ on my blog. This will be a chronicle of my journey after being separated and divorced. I was separated for two years and my divorce became final three years later. I am a firm believer in being transparent with personal experiences to educate. I feel this is absolutely necessary for African-American women. If we are truly a sisterhood, we MUST INSPIRE and EMPOWER! Please forget what you see on reality shows, my series is a transparent chronicle of my own experiences in my words. It is real life based on the good, the bad and the ugly. My chronicles are not meant to bash another individual but provide a platform to assist others who are in similar circumstances.
You Need a Village:
I speak on it “takes a village” which typically refers to rearing our children. Well, guess what WE need a village too! We need a network of supportive people in our lives as well. For those in this circle keep in mind a person going through this transition needs support not a replay of their decisions “why did you do this?”, “you chose him”, “I would have done this” etc., etc. Guess what? If you encounter this negativity, MUTE the noise.
DEEP EYE ROLL!!!!
Be mindful this transition is extremely challenging for your child(ren). I know it may feel like an ACT OF CONGRESS but try to put your best foot forward. Speaking from experience, I wish I could hit the REWIND button! Do your best, children learn by example. Make an effort to be PROACTIVE AND LESS REACTIVE!
Lastly, create a network of support for your physical and mental well-being. This means surrounding yourself with those who provide praise and uplift and will at any given moment CHECK YOU if necessary! Everyone needs a MAYA in their corner to say……
By all means make it a point to make time for yourself without feeling any MOMMY GUILT! If you have a custody agreement that allows time to yourself when children are with another parent, TAKE ADVANTAGE! Try something new like taking a gourmet class, ballroom dancing, learn to play an instrument, go back to school, take a cooking class, yoga or Pilates. It should be an activity that allows you to take off your mommy cape. is beneficial to your physical and mental well-being! If co-parenting works for your situation support this dynamic for the benefit of your child(ren).
Hopefully, my experiences will give you a better perspective to see this transition as an opportunity to grow and persevere! We control our destiny and the ability to have a fulfilled life. Please keep in mind I am a true testament of growth and development. As one sister-friend said, “by the grace of God”. It is a daily process so don’t get bummed if you’re not there yet. We’re all human and will have our good days and bad days. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!!! and remember if takes more muscles to frown than to SMILE!!!
Thanks so much for taking the time to tune in to my series!!!