A month ago I explained to my tween how I was not feeling spending money on him for Christmas. After I evaluated the entire year and a recent incident that occurred a month before Christmas it was a given there would be no Christmas. My only purchase would consist of necessities and not things off of his “I want” list. Initially I guess as any parent there is a little inkling of guilt when you remove traditions from your children however I was over it really quickly. In my opinion, my child needs to understand that Christmas is not an obligation and it is a privilege to be fortunate enough to have Christmas. A
Another issue I had with him was the lack of remorse he had for why it was being taken away. I struggle with this kid’s nonchalant attitude on issues I think should be important. One conclusion I have reached is his sense of entitlement! He never has to work hard to gain so therefore a punishment of any kind is taken lightly.
When Christmas arrived and the tween spent the later part of the day with the “other parent” he was elated to have received an Ipod Mini. Personally, I felt the gift was overpriced and unnecessary! Although, this was not my money, I wrestled with understanding how my tween had come close to earning an Ipod Mini, that retails at $329. Unfortunately, I still do not see the lesson taught here. Yes, he wore me out with the constant instant messaging and FACETIME!
The tween returned home a day and a half after Christmas with his brand new shiny gadget. While he had delighted in showing off his new gadget, later on that evening he asked me “whether he deserved the gift” I had not response. He went on to say “he felt guilty about getting it”, my response was nothing more than a blank stare! It’s interesting how he felt guilt yet it was never returned to the buyer.
I will not waiver from sticking to my convictions even if that means removing traditions. My tween needs to at some point realize that gifts are earned in my universe and not freely given just because I the parent needs to prove a point. There is no lesson of value if I do not continue to put my foot down when it comes to my rules.
There’s always next year for earning back those privileges.