New relationships after divorce are not a competition. It should be a thought provoking decision based on reality, not fiction. After divorcing I feel like the amount of advice was overwhelming and on occasion, filled with utter stupidity. I had an unnamed person tell me I should get married(remarried)! My first thought was for what reason? Is this a competition of some sort? The statement was so irrelevant to the conversation. I also must point out the statement was filled with contempt. It made me realize being happy and content after divorce is obviously an issue for some people. One thing I do know is that any decisions I make that impact my happiness will never be made in haste or to compete with another person.
One of the best lessons after divorce is to be very strategic in all decisions that impact my well being. A relationship sounds like a good idea, however, finding a suitable partner who shares the same values, goals, and lifestyle is challenging. While the choice to settle for less is very easy this brings so much unnecessary stress. One of the best advantages to being single is the ability to enjoy life independently and to be in charge of my well being. Personally, I know the worst mistake I made was thinking a relationship(s) was a replacement for a failed marriage. A failed marriage has you questioning a lot of things. I needed to take the time to evaluate what is needed in my life before including another person to share my time and space. This was eye opening because what I thought was necessary was more work than I need right now.
I believe it is important to stop trying to make up for the time spent in a failed marriage. The best thing I can do is focus on making better choices and living my best life. I am enjoying my time alone and being in charge of my decisions. One of the best parts is taking my time to make the right choices when it comes to the right person and a relationship. The art of weeding out the wrong one to find the right one becomes easier and easier. I am not phased with attention especially if it is not the right attention. After many lessons, the best advice I can offer is to discover you again, use the time to make yourself better, learn to enjoy you, love your self every day no matter how small or large, do not look for someone else to save you, make a conscious effort to try something new, take care of your temple, travel, start a things I want to do list (not a fan of bucket list).
I hope to continue to live the best life possible on my terms and if it is meant to share with someone else it will happen. It feels damn good to look forward to planning things I put on the back burner for so many years. As someone told me, it will happen because I refuse to settle. The words to live by are never settle and no regrets!
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