Open Letter to My Kids on Divorce and Life Moving Forward
I felt compelled to write an open letter to my kids on divorce after viewing a program. This weekend I was truly a couch potato and managed to watch Being, Jasmine Guy on Centric. It really hit home when she talked about going through her divorce and having to explain the situation to her then 8-year-old daughter. Jasmine moved to another state, which meant displacing her child. This hit a nerve with me because it was a decision I agonized over doing at the time. As Jasmine said(referring to divorce), “Our story is their story”. Her daughter talked about leaving her friends and not making it easy for her mother. Today her daughter realizes why her mother made specific decisions and felt bad with giving her mother a hard time.
As a mother, it pains you to disrupt what your kids know as home and the life in their neighborhood with their friends. My son was almost ten when I decided to move out and my daughter was almost four years old. It is difficult to explain adult decisions to kids, however, I hope one day they will understand the “why” behind my decisions.
I would like you to know that my decisions were always in your best interest and not for my own selfish reasons. As a mother, I always want the best for you even if this means uprooting to create a better life. Although, parenting is without a handbook I feel it is my duty to always provide an environment that is functional versus dysfunctional. I want, to always be honest, and not deceive you with empty words or promises. The reality of divorce is not always with a silver lining. One lesson I have learned is not to invite less than what I know deserve into our lives. From this lesson, I hope always set high standards for yourselves and never settle for less. You deserve the best in everything you do. I am tough because I want you both to stay focused and strive for more than my achievements. I wish I could promise you that life will come without challenges but this would be untrue. The lesson to learn is that despite life’s challenges we find a way to prevail. This journey is one of many lessons, challenges, and experiences. My wish is that you use our journey to shape and define your footprint in the world.