Father’s Day Every Year
While I look forward to the beginning of summer, the month of June also brings Father’s Day. If you’re plugged into social media on this day, your timeline is filled with pictures and posts celebrating dads. The day is bittersweet because I feel robbed of only having my dad for 19 years. When my dad passed away I was at the end of the first semester of my sophomore year of college. I remember how proud my dad was during my high school graduation and I know we were looking forward to my college graduation. From this point on, there was no excitement in celebrating milestones. I skipped my real college graduation and participated the year before I officially graduated. As I look back now this was totally ridiculous. My dad would have asked if I had I lost my mind? Again having that reality check with a dose of wisdom and perspective would have made all the difference in the world. I clearly see milestones are not the same without your biggest cheerleader.
Time and Adulthood
I wish I could wholeheartedly say that time heals a loss even with my dad’s wisdom stuck in my mind. I can remember things my dad said that still hold true to this day. How is this even possible after 28 years? Clearly, an example of my dad’s impact in my life. One thing is true about parenting and that is the importance of being involved and engaged. Adulthood is challenging with trying to make the best decisions as I chartered my course. I feel the loss of my dad during this time in my life made the challenges greater. It left me with so many unanswered questions. Just when I felt a sense of coming into my own. I really struggled with the why? how? How do you plan life events, without this wisdom? This year I realized the anxiety the day brings for me because I feel so disconnected from celebrating. Yes, I have lots of memories but there will always be a wish to have more time.