I quickly learned divorce can create the great divide with in-laws and the acquired friends. This is unfortunate especially when children are involved. The extended family is not my reality. Divorce creates a divide because people instinctively have an allegiance to their family. The unfortunate part is the children involved are without this extension of the family. I realized how artificial friendships and relationships truly are after divorce. It is astonishing how quickly individuals will believe the worst or take sides. All in all, I guess this is human nature.
Unfortunately, children are squeezed in the middle of all this messiness. However, I have realized how insincere people were from the beginning. It is amazing how people will try to reach out but the intention is so weak and the last thing you need is to hear from people who want to brag about themselves and their life. No shade but I would like to believe my new life of raising my children as a single parent and juggling the day-to-day grind far exceeds an individual’s ramblings about their life. The old adage “blood is thicker than water” resonates every day I am dealing with the challenges of being divorce. I see now that relatives will take sides regardless of the circumstances. My stance on this journey is you have to take the good, the bad and the ugly and keep it moving.
Needless to say, I am better for it because I am very protective of who I allow in as well as their intentions. The silver lining lies in the fact I have my family, old friendships and new friendships to provide my sanity check and support network.
The true lesson is to be cognizant of family dynamics if you want to build a life with someone and raise your own family. Personally, I feel great families are built on the same principles, morals, and values which create a solid foundation centered on the true meaning of FAMILY.