I was texting a friend a few weeks ago and she asked “If I had regrets” in filing for divorce. Honestly, I didn’t hesitate to respond and blatantly said NO! I truly believe circumstances present themselves for a reason. I call it a true wake up call for us to look at our lives. Granted, it was a difficult decision to displace my children, however, trying to cope with an unhappy situation makes parenting very difficult. I now know that my mental well-being means taking care of me so that I am able to be the best at providing what my children need. It is so important to live by example and choosing to leave was my way of showing my children that happiness is critical. Also, I feel my children now know that as parents we have to make difficult decisions that are in their best interest. It may be premature to assume my children fully understand I hope in time they will understand and appreciate all of my decisions.
According to Merriam-Webster, dictionary regret means 1)to mourn the loss of or death of 2)to be very sorry for. I cannot say I experienced any of these emotions however solo time does allow for a lot reflection. Wow, if only I had the maturity then that I have now!!!! It is unfortunate that I had no clue on how much hard work is involved in sustaining the institution of marriage. Yes, I know we have all heard of the proverbial “biological clock” well I too thought I was supposed to be in a specific space by a certain age. I found myself making this decision based on wanting to be on my own and trying to fill a void in my life. Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!!!!! Why did I think to be on my own required another person? I never thought about fulfilling my own dreams and working on me before deciding to get married.
The true lesson of this transition is to work on ME. This means identifying what makes me happy, finding what I like, love and am passion about, spending time with ME, being the best ME possible.
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