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JenOni

Archives for March 2015

Life: Divorce -My Story in My Voice

Mar 8, 2015

DDCM#3

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade…..

Hey Everyone!   I am so excited to start a new series, Diary of a Divorced CocoaMommy™ on my blog.   This will be a chronicle of my journey after being separated and divorced.  I was separated for two years and my divorce became final three years later.    I am a firm believer in being transparent with personal experiences to educate.   I feel this is absolutely necessary for African-American women.   If we are truly a sisterhood, we MUST INSPIRE and EMPOWER! Please forget what you see on reality shows, my series is a transparent chronicle of my own experiences in my words.   It is real life based on the good, the bad and the ugly.    My chronicles are not meant to bash another individual but provide a platform to assist others who are in similar circumstances.

You Need a Village:

I speak on it “takes a village” which typically refers to rearing our children.  Well, guess what WE need a village too!  We need a network of supportive people in our lives as well.      For those in this circle keep in mind a person going through this transition needs support not a replay of their decisions “why did you do this?”, “you chose him”, “I would have done this” etc., etc.    Guess what?   If you encounter this negativity, MUTE the noise.

DEEP EYE ROLL!!!!

giphy

 

Be mindful this transition is extremely challenging for your child(ren).  I know it may feel like an ACT OF CONGRESS but try to put your best foot forward.  Speaking from experience, I wish I could hit the REWIND button!   Do your best, children learn by example.    Make an effort to be PROACTIVE AND LESS REACTIVE!

Lastly, create a network of support for your physical and mental well-being.   This means surrounding yourself with those who provide praise and uplift and will at any given moment CHECK YOU if necessary! Everyone needs a MAYA in their corner to say……

 

giphy (4)

 


By all means make it a point to make time for yourself without feeling any MOMMY GUILT!  If you have a custody agreement that allows time to yourself when children are with another parent, TAKE ADVANTAGE!   Try something new like taking a gourmet class, ballroom dancing, learn to play an instrument, go back to school, take a cooking class, yoga or Pilates.    It should be an activity that allows you to take off your mommy cape.    is beneficial to your physical and mental well-being!  If co-parenting works for your situation support this dynamic for the benefit of your child(ren).

Hopefully, my experiences will give you a better perspective to see this transition as an opportunity to grow and persevere!   We control our destiny and the ability to have a fulfilled life. Please keep in mind I am a true testament of growth and development.   As one sister-friend said, “by the grace of God”.   It is a daily process so don’t get bummed if you’re not there yet.   We’re all human and will have our good days and bad days.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!!! and remember if takes more muscles to frown than to SMILE!!!

giphy (2)
If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out via email at info@cocoamommy.com.

Thanks so much for taking the time to tune in to my series!!!

Filed Under: Diary Of A Divorced CocoaMommy, Single Mom Chronicles Tagged With: #empower, #inspire, #singlemom, #sisterhood, divorce

Single Mom Chronicles: DIY Blog Series-Reupholster Dining Room Chairs

Mar 2, 2015

How do you give old furniture a new look? It’s very simple with the help of JOANN FABRICS!!! When I decided to purchase a white wash wood furniture dining room suite (with white upholestered chairs) it was to create my “country” decor look in my first house.

Let’s FAST FORWARD 2 houses, storage for 4 years and 2 kids  who are now 14yo and 8yo and these chairs are not child or teen proof.   These chairs are definitely not kid friendly.  How many spills do you have on any given day?   Also the suite has has a white wash wood table.   You learn one of favorite home decor places is HOME GOODS and they have a nice selection of Cynthia Crowley water repellant tablecloths in a variety of sizes and designs!

For the chairs,  I decided to do a DIY reupholster my own chairs to save money.    After I purchased a sewing machine, I decided to sign up for coupons via text messages with JOANN FABRICS.    These coupons can be applied to any regularly priced item which saves a significant amount especially if it is 50% off.  For any upholestering you need a heavy duty stapler and the weekly coupon came in handy.  These staplers are over $20!!!

Cocoamomommy Blog Series Part 1 062115

 

The coupons cannot be applied to fabric but on any given week there is usually a fabric sales.   If you don’t know I scour the internet and PINTEREST for most projects to get guidelines.  I found suggestions on two different sites. Both sites suggested removing the old upholstery which I opted to keep.

Cocoamommy Blog Series Part I Before Chair

You may ask how do you determine how much fabric to purchase?  Great question, my first site suggested to measure the length, width and depth of the cushion. From the depth, multiply by 3.   Then add this number to the length and width of your cushion to determine how large of a fabric piece is required. The other site estimated 1/2 yard for a standard cushion.   I used the second approach and it was not accurate for my cushions. Unfortunately neither worked for my cushions. My cushions have a unique scalloped shape along the front of the cushion.

Cocoamommy Blog Series Part I After Chair
I purchased 3 yards of fabric from a 54″ bolt(width) thinking this was enough to cover all 6 chairs.   After measuring my length and width and depth as 22x17x1.5 respectively,  I estimated  34″x 30″ of fabric for each chair.  The fabric covered  covered 3 of my 6 chairs.   For the remaining chairs I plan to purchase about 2 1/2 yards.   I have a significant amount of fabric left which I am planning to use for a table runner and napkins.   In case you missed it I purchased a sewing machine so a great reason to “repurpose” the fabric!!!!!

Stay tuned for my next DIY project!!!! See you soon!!!!

Filed Under: DIY, Single Mom Chronicles Tagged With: #diy, #joannfabrics, #repurpose, decor

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