A Glass of Wine is a great way to decompress! Why would a mom of two busy kids need to decompress?
Well here’s a day in the life……here it goes!
When I heard people say having children changes everything, wow it never quite sank in. My son is now 12 and there is no book, manual, advice or website that can prepare you for parenthood. Six years after the arrival of my son my daughter arrived. Whew who knew that my estrogen counterpart would be a personality to reckon with. Aside from having kids of different genders, their personalities differ like night and day.
My son is a tween which brings a whole package of new feelings and emotions. Some days I look at him and ask myself are you the same child I brought home 12 years ago? We spend more time now being at odds with one another. This is the age where he knows everything, thanks to his ability to surf the Internet. There are days I love the idea of technology and then I shutter to think how naive my child is in terms of the pros and cons. We are constantly at odds on the risk factors surrounding our access to social media. He cannot understand the fact that I grew up with no Internet or gadgets. When I grew up playing Atari 5200 all day was BIG, playing in the rain on our street was fun, hearing the sound of ropes turning as it the pavement is what I remember from childhood. I am guilty of indulging in these gadgets however I think to some extent childhood is being lost. The most enjoyable conversations with my tween is on Hip Hop. I think he honestly thinks hip hop started for his generation. He can’t grasp how or when it all started. It is funny to see his face cringes when he hears Biggie. In his mind he thinks Nikki Minaj is really a rapper, poor thing. McLyte, Queen Latifah, SaltnPepper, Lil Kim, Eve are foreign to his mind. I constantly have to remind him that me and JayZ are around the same age. There are definitely challenges with raising a male child. I must admit some of our talks make me cringe but all in a day’s work as mom! I guess you expect your offspring to excel and this is my tween. He is filled with so much potential and his brain is far more powerful than he realizes. I know one day it will click and that light bulb will come on. His mind is so geared toward technology it amazes me. He can tackle any task related to the Internet, gadget or social media. From all of that he is an adolescent with growing pains, which comes with the territory. One day he demands independence and the next day he needs to be coddled and reassured…….Whew!
Up next we have my ladybug……such a small package at 6lbs 6oz but who knew she was packing a punch! A small package with a super sized voice. She is extremely detailed oriented, if you expose her to it keep in mind she is a little sponge. If there’s anything to see, hear or know my ladybug is the go to person. She never hesitates to ask as many questions as she can process within 24hrs! This flow and thirst for knowledge is a continuous cycle from the morning until she passes out at bedtime. As I watched her on stage at her ballet recital I was floored there was no hint of stage fright. She hears music and she goes into full throttle by either breaking into song or dance…..her picture is next to the word FEARLESS ! Her level of creativity is astounding and mesmerizing all at the same time! Art is her other passion, crayons, markers, or pencils and paper and like she creates a MASTERPIECE ! Next up she wants to try flag football, lacrosse, and hip hop class. I have yet to figure out if her vocal cords are exhausted or if her if brain goes into pause mode. Whew!
The reality of parenthood sets in when you are a MOTHER and this is with or without a spouse. As a mom I wake each morning with these little people looking at me for everything whether it’s breakfast, lunch, dinner, homework help, a story, advice, money, assurance, etc. There are days when mom has to put on a different hat which requires being the disciplinarian, referee, enforcer or whoever is required at that moment.
After talking to a my Saturday mommy friends during ballet, it was a breath of fresh air to have what I call “real” mommy talk. As I stated there is no manual for parenthood or motherhood for that matter. I will be the first to admit motherhood is not for those seeking perfection. Days do exist when I want to lock myself in a closet and have my dinner in peace minus the refereeing at the dinner. There are days when I would prefer to not raise my voice! There are days I would love to take an extended shower, or the luxury of soaking in a tub of fluffy bubbles. There are days I would prefer to not lock the bathroom door to get privacy and handle my bodily functions in peace. There are days I crave a nap minus a little person whispering “mommy, are you sleep?” I guess closed eyes are not a giveaway that yes mommy needs rest too!
In a lot of ways, it is easy to be hard on ourselves in terms of what we think makes a great mom! I have quickly learned in past three years the importance of taking those opportunities to have a meal in peace, weekends with me, a glass of my favorite wine, and that extended shower. I know now as a divorced mom of two taking time for myself. It may come in small increments so enjoy. My favorite time in morning is after dropping off kids and blasting my music on my way to work.
This journey is not about perfection but giving your best effort to nurture in the mommy lane with a glass of wine if you so choose!