What are your thoughts? I desperately tried to put off this discussion for a few more years. What was I thinking? I’m not sure why but who ever expects to have this conversation with their child(ren). I never had “the talk” once I reached puberty. It was a quick menstrual cycle=pregnancy talk ****blank stare***** I knew as a parent I wanted to have the discussion because there is too much misinformation. If you the parent cannot talk to your children who will or is suppose to have the discussion. My tween hounded me(no exaggeration) for months on “when are we having the talk?”. In my mind I thought it was time when I felt like he was mature enough, huh? What was I thinking when the internet had already beat me to the punch. My tween child thought he covered all the bases and everything he heard at school was utterly ridiculous and WRONG!
I tried to gauge what he learned surfing the net and then I found a great website on PUBERTY that covered the male and female anatomy . The initial lesson was painless because he felt comfortable enough to ask questions and I wiped the beads of sweat from my brow and was very open and honest . I remember a male friend asking why did I have the talk with my son. If your child asks questions, are we not to answer? or pretend they are not ready for a discussion because the adult is not ready. I am a firm believer that it is far better to be armed with accurate information than to walk around in the dark or without the facts. I realized my tween was armed with the right information because he told me “everything my friends at school said was so wrong”. We covered anatomy, reproduction, hygiene, virginity, pregnancy, menstrual cycle, intercourse, STDs. I allowed him to guide the discussion so he felt a sense of comfort in asking questions so he understood the importance of the discussion and being informed. It is so difficult to censor everything kids are exposed. In order to shield them from the world we would have to keep them in a bubble. We know firsthand this is impossible and unrealistic! I feel in this day and time you have to b eopen and honest with children otherwise I fear my tween will get the wrong information. Is there a right time? In my case his curiousity was overwhelming there was no way for me to squirm out of the “talk”.
After our discussion I learned quickly, we had to set boundaries on how much he was allowed to delve into my adolescent life. There were no white lies however I gauged my answers. Ultimately, my hope is that my tween makes his decisions based on knowledge and the maturity to handle the consequences of his actions. The bottom line is the fact he knows we have an open door of communication and whatever he wants to know or needs to know he can ask me!